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 If Microsoft Made
Cars...
[Note: I don't know
if this is true or not, but it's certainly funny!]
At a recent COMDEX computer expo, Microsoft
supremo Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
industry and said: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we'd all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the
gallon."
In response to Bill's comments,
General Motors then issued a press release saying that if GM developed technology
the same way Microsoft did, then we'd all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:
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Your car would crash twice
a day for no reason whatsoever
-
You'd have to buy a new car
every time they repainted the lines on the road.
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Occasionally your car would
die on the freeway for no reason at all. You'd just accept this, restart
it and drive on.
-
Occasionally executing a manoeuvre
such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down completely and refuse
to restart. In this case you'd have to reinstall the engine.
-
Only one person at a time could
use the car unless you bought "Car95", "Car98", "Car2000" or "CarNT". But
then you'd have to buy more seats....
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Macintosh would make a car
that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy
to drive, but it would only run on 5% of the roads.
-
The oil, water, temperature
and alternator warning lights on your dashboard would be replaced by a single
"general car default" warning light.
-
New seats would force everyone
to have the same size butt.
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The airbag system would say
"Are you sure?" before going off.
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Occasionally (for no reason
whatsoever) your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of
the radio antenna.
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GM would require all car buyers
to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally roadmaps (now a GM subsidiary)
even though they neither needed them nor wanted them. Attempting to delete
this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by
50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Department.
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Every time GM introduced a
new model car, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because
none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
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